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Feelings check-ins for kids

How to do a feelings check-in with your child

A feelings check-in is a short, low-pressure moment to ask a child what they are feeling and listen to the answer. You can do it with words, a drawing, or a feeling face, without trying to fix the feeling on the spot.

Smiley Man showing a happy feeling

Keep it small

Try a 30-second check-in once a day, or twice if your child enjoys it. Make it an invitation, not a test. A child can say “I’m not sure” or pass.

You can model it first: “I feel a little tired and also happy to see you.” Naming more than one feeling shows there is no single correct answer.

Choose a moment that fits your family

Morning can help you notice how the day is starting. After school, give your child time to eat, move, or decompress first. Bedtime can be a quiet chance to look back.

Use the same gentle cue if routine helps: “Want to pick a feeling for today?” Skip the question when your child needs space.

Ask questions that leave room

Try “What part of today stayed with you?” or “What feeling fits right now?” A choice between two feeling words can help a younger child start. “You’re happy, right?” can accidentally tell them which answer you want.

Listen before offering a solution. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends open questions and acknowledging a child’s emotion. Read its parent guide.

When the answer is “fine” or “I don’t know”

Accept it. You might say, “That’s okay. We can leave it there.” Later, offer a face chart, a drawing, or your own example. Some children need a little time before words arrive.

A check-in should leave your child feeling heard, even when they share very little.

Want to try it with Smiley Man?

Start with free feeling faces. Optional Plus features require a paid subscription.

Get the iOS app

Good to know

Questions parents ask.

How long should a feelings check-in take?

A few seconds can be enough. If your child wants to talk longer, follow their lead.

What if my child refuses?

Let them pass and try another time. A check-in works best as an invitation, not a requirement.

Can teachers use this approach?

The questions and feeling words can be used in a classroom. The app is designed for parent-guided family use; check your school's rules before using any app with students.