How to do a feelings check-in with your child
A feelings check-in is a short, low-pressure moment to ask a child what they are feeling and listen to the answer. You can do it with words, a drawing, or a feeling face, without trying to fix the feeling on the spot.
Keep it small
Try a 30-second check-in once a day, or twice if your child enjoys it. Make it an invitation, not a test. A child can say “I’m not sure” or pass.
You can model it first: “I feel a little tired and also happy to see you.” Naming more than one feeling shows there is no single correct answer.
Choose a moment that fits your family
Morning can help you notice how the day is starting. After school, give your child time to eat, move, or decompress first. Bedtime can be a quiet chance to look back.
Use the same gentle cue if routine helps: “Want to pick a feeling for today?” Skip the question when your child needs space.
Ask questions that leave room
Try “What part of today stayed with you?” or “What feeling fits right now?” A choice between two feeling words can help a younger child start. “You’re happy, right?” can accidentally tell them which answer you want.
Listen before offering a solution. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends open questions and acknowledging a child’s emotion. Read its parent guide.
When the answer is ‘fine’ or ‘I don’t know’
Accept it. You might say, “That’s okay. We can leave it there.” Later, offer a face chart, a drawing, or your own example. Some children need a little time before words arrive.
A check-in should leave your child feeling heard, even when they share very little.
How Smiley Man Check-In fits
In the app, a child taps a feeling face, can choose a feeling size, and may try a small activity or creative choice. The Feelings Book gives words to revisit together. You can use the same approach with paper and a pencil.
Core check-ins are free. Some extra feelings, stories, read-aloud features, and pets require a paid Smiley Man Plus subscription.
Questions parents ask
How long should a feelings check-in take?
A few seconds can be enough. If your child wants to talk longer, follow their lead.
What if my child refuses?
Let them pass and try another time. A check-in works best as an invitation, not a requirement.
Can teachers use this approach?
The questions and feeling words can be used in a classroom. The app is designed for parent-guided family use; check your school's rules before using any app with students.